A TRUE TEST ON MY RESILIENCE

We all have our down time in some parts of our lives. Some people seem to have them occasionally while some seem more, and for some, funnily, even strangely, have a full dose of bad moments over a short period of time!

This last category is where I place myself as, strangely and funnily, the month of August, which the Chinese regards as the ‘ghost month’ has many misfortunes that have befallen me and my family too.

So what are they? Having ‘bad patches’ with my wife and  son over some misunderstanding,   getting sad news about a brother of mine who had landed into trouble, watching my dog,Vision, getting badly injured in a fight with another dog, making wrong business decisions that is taking my company a little backward.  

 
And …  to top it all, nearly going blind if not for an urgent operation to save my left eye, and then the consequence of forced ‘redundancy’ that is leaving me feeling useless, depressed and hopeless for over a week now  with nothing to do as I have to be out of action in order to rest my eye. This resting period is not as straightforward as I would like it to be, as  it is coupled with the misery of having to follow a disciplined regime of eye care exercises as well.

Isn’t all these a whole lot of mishaps to take on in less than a month? So how did I survive through this period? I must admit it is not easy, really. If not for my resilience that has been built during my early days, I could have been shattered quite badly. So I do a number of things to keep my sanity, or rather stay in balance.

God is perhaps the closest and the most immediate person I call on through my prayers asking for His divine, spiritual and mental support. He is giving me great strength to stay afloat.

 

Doing this means also meditating and reflecting to stay calm, be present and be patient. I do more reading these days too;  it keeps my mind ‘fluid’ and enriched too with knowledge to grow my wisdom further. This does not mean I do nothing about resolving issues directly, but there are ones that I do nothing for them as they “heal” by themselves.
While doing all these, I stay mindful to keep it focused with positive self talks to reframe all these misfortunes from the negative to the positive.  And this is what I did during this turbulent period :  learning to rest, indulging in other activities besides work, and coming to terms with myself that I am not indispensable as others can do what I think I can only do. I guess I also got closer to my family and appreciate and love them, especially my wife who is always by my side.
Do you have similar misfortunes in the month of August too? Why not share how you overcome them?

A Prisoner By Choice

Life sometimes take a strange twist when it is like scoring your own goal to deliberately make yourself the loser.  When this happens, we put our lives behind the bars  of self imprisonment.  It means that we have retreated to the back stage of our lives  to allow someone, even an object, to take control over us.

I’ve a friend who is like this.  Already in the fifties, she chooses to be a victim to a demanding elderly mother of 90 years of age who can order her about relentlessly in almost every important area of her life.  She goes one step further into self imprisonment by allowing  a parking lot to stop her from using her car because keeping the spot from other cars getting in there is more important than giving herself a good time out with her car.

Yet she complains incessantly about her mother and her heavily under-used car – indeed, she has allowed them to make her life miserable!  
There are many such people like that who pass their own life sentence on themselves or metaphorically scoring their own goals so that they choose a life of suffering.

 

 Why do people do this to themselves? Is it stupidity? I don’t think so.  It is likely to be fear, lack of security, low self esteem, etc.
Such people need to redeem their  actual self net worth so that no one can sell them into self slavery. They need to know they deserve as much of life as anyone else.
Who do you know who needs to be acquitted from their self imprisonment?  Help them to see their worth if you know of anyone like that.