In my 16 years as a professional coach, I have not only met up with so many types of clients, but in the same breath, met up with many types of coaches as well. My conclusion: there are few who make it but more who don’t make it. Either they have no success and fulfilment, or they have success without fulfilment.
While there are marketing reasons that contribute to this sad state of affair, there are also personal reasons as well. The most common and glaring one is they are not living brand of the coaching profession they want to make a success of. The very thing they are helping their clients to be are the very things they do not live out authentically. In marketing we say, you can’t sell if you don’t believe in your own products!
It is a hard truth that it’s not good enough to be good in coaching others. It’s even more important to live like one. However, by saying this, I do not mean that coaches have to live like a saint or even a god, which even the best coaches, and definitely not me, can achieve. There will not be any coaches in this world if we need the qualification that we must be perfect first before we become coaches!
I like to highlight a few tenets of Coaching that are no-no for Coaches.
- One of them is ‘wickedness’ which simply mean sabotaging through words or actions on other coaches. Some do this because they are jealous of others or they are greedy who want the entire cake for themselves. While this put them in a state of constant stress of comparing with others, their negative actions will eventually be exposed.Coaches often ask their clients, ‘how can they be your accomplice rather than your enemy’? This is a question intended to help them find friends than making enemies. When coaches do not follow this principle but instead go on a rampage on others, such acts will sooner or later get around and there goes their reputation and good name.
- Another is ‘appreciation’ which simply is having a long memory to remember good people who have helped them in one way of another.Without this, they won’t have a heart; even more seriously, they don’t see the good aspects of people and situation. Coaches often ask their clients, ‘what can you appreciate about your current situation’? This is a question intended to help them find positivity within and beyond themselves. Lack of this can lead to a number of adverse consequences: they become either ungrateful, dissatisfied or negative. Anyone of these makes them unhappy people.
- ‘Disrespect’ for others is the other one. They go all out to serve their selfish ends at the expense of hurting the feelings of others. One thing they will do is getting the support of others through the most demeaning acts with no regards to their dignity and ego.Coaches often ask their clients,’ how can you be of service to them’? This is a question intended to teach the client to place others before self, serving them with sincerity and humility that will support their well- being. Coaches who lack this quality lack integrity. They may appear nice on the outside but beneath them lie their dark side and inconsistencies.
I find that when basic qualities such as these ones get violated they spell misfortune to these coaches. I urge coaches to keep strengthening them so that they bring success and fulfilment to themselves before they can do this for their clients.