USING SMALL TALK TO BUILD RAPPORT
Q: I learned about coaching a few years ago and have been using it whenever I can. However, I am still struggling to get some decent results when conducting job interviews to get the right candidates. I am not able to get job applicants to be their true selves. Due to this inability, I end up recruiting the wrong people who do not fit into the positions they are applying for. What can I do to improve my interviewing ability?
A: Nothing is more important than building rapport with candidates at the early stages of an interview. Many people who come for interviews often feel stressed and uncomfortable. When you can make them feel otherwise, they will feel “safe” and relaxed and be their natural selves, enabling you to get a more accurate reading of them in the areas you are looking for. So, learn how to bring down their defenses during interviews.
When we have the ability to do small talk, people get closer to us. Do not dive into the interview straightaway until you have broken the ice with the candidate. Engaging in small talk is the best way of doing this. Use simple questions such as “How did you get here?” Or “Did you have any problem finding this place?” Even comments like, “I like the shirt you are wearing, where did you get it?” can help make candidates feel very much at ease. You can still continue with the small talk, even during the real interview itself, where you punctuate the conversation with casual but insightful questions, such as “What is the most important event that has occurred in your life over the last month?” or “What is important for you right now in your life?” Their answers will tell you a lot about their attitudes, outlook, and life priorities. You will then be able to size them up more accurately.
POWERFUL QUESTIONS
• How do you want people to respond when conversing with you?
• How satisfied are you with when doing this now?
• What needs to change in the way you converse for better results?
• What do you need to watch out for when in conversation the next time?
EARNING RESPECT THE RIGHT WAY
Q: I am tired of some people who continuously oppose the way I run my department. Although I ultimately “win”, I lose some good people along the way. Even those who are still around are actually disloyal and discontented with me. My bosses are warning me the situation may get worse unless I do something fast to avoid more “bloodshed”. Can you help me get better support from my team?
A: It is really about the trust they have for you. Without it, nothing will work. Trust is the most fundamental aspect of human relationships. As a leader, gaining the trust of your people is the most important task ever.
Here are some ways to gain their trust. First, improve your authenticity through your words and actions. Second, make yourself more dependable, which is really about keeping the promises you make. Third, improve your predictability, where people are not surprised or shocked by your mood swings or ever-changing decisions. Fourth, be sincere that people feel you always have them in your heart instead of promoting your self-interest only. Finally, learn to show greater respect for others where you safeguard their dignity and pride and not abuse their feelings, self-image, and values.
POWERFUL QUESTIONS
• What do you want your people to perceive you?
• What are your learning insights from the many encounters you have had with them?
• What else do you want from them?
• What else is needed from you?
CONTACT FOR FURTHER INFORMATION
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