Now I know what having mental strength can also mean what I need to have. I always thought I had plenty of this, and I go round teaching and coaching others why we all should have this.
With my Mum’s life hanging in the balance and the doctors predicting there’s little hope left for her is a very hard fact to accept and if she really has to go, it’s also a very hard reality to let go.
Losing or preparing to lose a loved one requires mental strength of a different kind. I used to regard mental strength as just determination, courage or discipline but it definitely covers more areas than this.
To accept and to let one is another kind of mental strength. Mum has been a most loving person to me and the family. Two years ago I paid tribute to her in this blog because I couldn’t find a better place to express more of my love and gratitude than telling the whole wide world what a great mum she is. My brother David called her, the ‘queen of all Mums’ and indeed she has always been just that.
What I need now is to find mental strength to accept that life can go either way for her as she is now dependent helplessly on life support for the last 1 week with both eye blind due to a rapid spread of infections that she had contacted while in hospital. I wanted life to be a little more kind to her in her last days at least but it looks like it’s not happening. The only consolation that I can tell myself is that ‘God works in mysterious ways’ so He probably has the best reason why Mum is put through such agony and pain.
Well, I got to reframe and look at the brighter side of things although it’s very difficult to do. I got to say goodbye to her at the hospital bed today as I have to go to Indonesia and other places for the next 10 days for professional work. I am not sure whether the kisses and hugs I gave her just now would be our last.
I’m very sad but I got to have the mental strength to be really strong to face up to what God wants her fate to be.
Please pray for her. Only with divine intervention can there be a miracle for her. But whatever it is going to be, I leave her in the hands of God who will surely make the right call for her which she rightfully deserves. I leave her fate to you, Lord; you know what’s best for her.
I want you to know, Mum, that we all love you for the love you have unconditionally and selflessly gave to us and me all through your life! I love you, Mum, once again!
14 Responses
Dear Mike, i read you blog and yes…..mental strength is beyond what we understand. One thing i know: we will need to go through the pain and sorrow for sure, we are humans after all. But do continue to ask God for peace of mind and wisdom for you to do what is right. God is in control…..in these moments, spend the quality time to mum, speak to her as she can listen to you. Will put you in my prayers. Take care.
Love
Claire
Thanks, Claire for the good advice and your prayers. I m much comforted with your words and it makes the going easier. Mike.
Michael, I do not have words to comfort you except the
“In God we put our faith and trust”
god be with your mum.
Thanks Indra. Indeed it’s hard but your silence says it all for me. Mike.
Dear Mic..life needs to go on..all we can do is to pray that she do gets well. In the meantime you need to be strong to be there for her when the time comes. Do take care of yourself too!
Best regards
Melisss
Thanks, Melissa.. I’m much comforted with your caring words. It just making the going a lot easier. Yes, I will be strong to be there for her and take care of myself well.
Dear Michael, I wish I have the right words to comfort the sadness you & your family are experiencing now. I am sure your mum is a great woman & mother and deserves all the love & respect you have for her. I hope that God will provide you the strength & wisdom at this moment of need.
Thanks, Greggory, for those kind words about my mum. yes, she is a great mother and I trust that God will provide me and my mum with the strength to go through this period. Mike.
Mike, I totally can feel what you & your family are going through ; till today whenever I think of my Dad and Grandma; i still get teary and miss them..and can only pray that they are in a better life and that my love for them lives forever in my mind…stay strong …it’s not easy …
Thanks Swan. It’s people like u who make it easier to go thru this period.
Making the call to let go of someone you loved is not an easy one to make. It is sad for a son to have to come to such a situation that I faced with my own mother. Knowing that she would be in a better place and to join her husband, my father is what we can console ourselves with.
Lets pray for your mother and courage to you and family.
Thanks, David. It’s people like u who make it easier to go thru this period.
Thanks Swan. It’s people like u who make it easier to go thru this period.