TUNE IN TO OTHER PEOPLE’S WORLD
Q: People say that I am cold and emotionless because I do not smile nor get excited with almost everything. I must admit that I often ‘immersed in my own world’, (thinking deeply and wildly) to the extent that I forget there are people around me. How can I be more in tune with the world outside?
A: The area to work on is your empathy for without this, you will become indifferent to people because to you there is nothing interesting you can shout about! Due to this ‘ignorance’, you do not feel the urge to adjust or change your ways to tune in to people and environment around you, which is not healthy.
One good place to start is building your interest in communicating with people. Stay centered on the conversation and not allow internal talks from getting in your mind. Tune in to their words and their inner meanings of their worldviews. Get casual and engage in ‘small talks’ with them on the little details of their lives like holiday plans, hobbies, interests and so on. In short, make them feel more important than yourself!
POWERFUL QUESTIONS
- What goes on in your head when people are talking with you?
- How can you minimise this?
- What can you do to put the spotlight on others, instead of yourself?
- What can impress them on your curiosity on them?
PUT THE SPOTLIGHT ON OTHERS, NOT ON YOU
Q: Many people are visiting my wife who is suffering from a rare illness. While I appreciate those who visit her, there are some whom I am a little cheesed off, who after some pleasantries, start talking more about themselves instead of my wife’s well-being. Am I too sensitive or is there something wrong with their behaviours?
A: I do not think you are too sensitive and you are right that this group cares more of themselves than others like your wife.
People who always place others above self usually lack self-sensitivity as they are ‘numb’ to the thoughts and feelings of others.
What you can learn from this is the importance of placing attention on others, which will automatically reduce your talking time and increase your listening time. Even though when people want to know more of you, be aware not to get carried away to grab all the attention. Always make it a point to put the spotlight on them, which goes a long way to make the person feel real good.
POWERFUL QUESTIONS
- How often do people enjoy talking with you?
- What can you do to place more attention on others than on you?
- What do you want to be aware of when with people?
- How can you show them they are most important to you?
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